Wish You Knew
by Zayz
Summary: Future Tony writes a letter to Present Tony.


A/N: I'm nervous. I kind of scared that you guys are going to hate it. But I hope you don't because I kind of like it. So here's to hoping it's not too out of character and that you don't hate it.

Cheers. xx

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**Wish You Knew**  
**By: Zayz**

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Dear DiNozzo,

Hey there, man. What's up? Well, actually, I'm pretty sure I know what's up, because I've already been there, but anyway. Here we are, having a conversation, one-on-one, man-to-man. I'm sure you probably have a million questions for me – whether I ever did date a Bond girl or coin a catchphrase, whether I got married or had kids, whether I ever lost my hair (which, just to put your mind at ease, I didn't) – but right now is not the time for you to ask me questions. This is a time for you to sit tight and listen, because I've been playing this whole 'life' game a lot longer than you have, and there are a few things I want to tell you, that I wished I knew at your age.

It feels like you're getting old – and yeah, I guess you kind of are – but the truth is, you have so much more of your life left to live. You're only forty! And some of the best times are ahead of you yet. I know you're an insane workaholic, but there are some awesome films – like, modern classics – coming out in a few years, and there are new hobbies for you to pick up, and new people you're going to meet. You don't have to worry so much, you know. You still look great in your old age, let me tell you. And you'll find that it's pretty nice to get some time for yourself, to just relax. You're not very good at it now, but you'll learn, DiNozzo. You'll learn.

At this point, you don't know it, but everything is going to change soon. You don't like to think about it, and I understand that, but Gibbs and Ducky aren't exactly young. Almost indestructible, sure – but only almost. They're mortal. This team as you know it, it's not going to last forever. You're lucky it's lasted as long as it has. I don't want to spoil anything (I know, I know, I'm a real jerk) but your world is going to get shaken up, and you have to realize, it's not as terrible as it seems.

Change is actually kind of a good thing, you know. We haven't always had it easy with change, but some are for the better. And you'll find that once you break out of your comfort zone, it's scary and sad, but it's a lot of fun. Again, don't want to spoil too much, but there are more opportunities coming your way. Don't get hung up on keeping everything the same and controlled.

In that vein – women.

Yeah. You knew we were going to talk about this.

Knowing you, you probably skipped the intro of this letter the first time in order to sneak a peek at this section.

Sneaky bastard.

I'm you, DiNozzo. I know your tricks. You can't fool me.

But yeah, women. _Women_. Stranger creatures, this world has never known.

To answer the burning question now – yes. You will get married. I know you worry about that. I didn't want to tell you about that, but I did because I want to make sure you know that you're a pretty awesome dude, when you're not playing the evasive clown to the twenty-fifth degree, and you shouldn't be too upset that you haven't found The One yet. You will. And believe me, you'll know it when you're ready.

Because you've already met her, you know. She's already somewhere in your life, waiting for you to figure out your shit. And when you do, and when she's figured out hers, you have something amazing waiting for you. I'm being serious.

There may even be a little DiNozzo in the picture soon enough.

But again, I don't want to spoil anything. You probably want to kick me right now, but I'm older than you and I _know_ it's better to go in blind. More stressful, more confusing, more frustrating – but better. You've always hated it when people say this to you, but it's never been truer than it is now – you'll get it when you're older.

Anyway, if you think this is hard for you, think about how hard it is for _me_. I know all the answers! And I really want to tell you! I know how badly you want to know them. But trust me. There's a reason we never find these things out from the first minute we're born. It's better this way.

A few other things I want to tell you before I run out of time here:

You have a great sense of humor. Some people will tell you otherwise, but it's part of your charm. Own it. Never be sorry. The woman you're going to marry loves it about you. (Even if she tries to be sneaky and deny it.)

Don't ever grow your hair out. It makes you look like a hippie – in a bad way.

Let people in. It could be your worst decision, but it rarely ever is. It could also be your best decision – and often, that's what happens. And there are a lot of in-between options too. So you can relax that small country of armed guards around your secrets, man. It's not as bad as you think. Especially when it's the right person.

Technology is going to get so cool so soon. Get McGee to help you keep up with that. It's worth it. You don't even _know_ what's coming for you with the film industry. I have to work really hard here not to ruin everything for you.

You're going to have a moment one day, when something devastates you completely, and you think you're never going to be okay again – and at that moment, you're going to find out that people really love you, Tony. They do. You're not alone in anything. I hope you can figure that out before this devastating incident, because support will make it a lot easier to get through.

Everything happens for a reason. With your career, it's easy to question that, because horrible and senseless things happen everyday and you're the one that has to deal with the fall-out. But you'll see. You'll see. You don't always know the reason, but it's there and you just have to trust that. Everything that has ever happened to you has culminated into the person you are, and even if I do say so myself, that's a pretty good person.

You may find that hard to believe at times. You've made mistakes, you've had regrets – and there are more to come. But you are a good person. And good things will happen to you. Even if bad things happen alongside them sometimes.

So, that's it for now. I have to go. I hope I haven't freaked you out too bad, or made you too impatient to fast-forward to the future like this is a math textbook and you want to see the answers to your homework. I really hope that doesn't happen to you, because life is a gift, it's precious, and it's kind of awesome to go through every day, taking it all in, seeing where you end up.

If all this sound sentimental, please don't hate on an old man trying to help a young fellow out. You don't know who you're going to be soon. So just take this for what it is, and listen to my advice. I promise, it's good. Even if it doesn't fully make sense yet.

So, take it easy, DiNozzo. Be nice to your friends, and don't forget to be nice to yourself. We'll be seeing each other soon.

-TD


End file.
